I recently reflected on how almost everything we do is related to our thoughts. Our day will be drastically different depending on whether we are looking through a positive set of lenses or negative ones. I personally, want people to be lifted up and encouraged after interactions with me rather than brought down. It has to start with me and how I see the world and think throughout my day.
Last week my husband had an extra exhausting week at work while I was struggling with our baby sleeping worse than usual. We could have had a bad week and been grumpy and negative the whole time. Yet, overall we still had good weeks. It was hard and I definitely had my moments where I gave into a negative mindset, but I didn't stay there.
One major example of this in marriage is focusing on what your husband isn't doing instead of what he does. Or being critical that he didn't do something exactly as you wanted him to-ouch! I was super guilty of this in the past and my husband was so frustrated. He was genuinely trying and no matter what, he just felt like a failure in my eyes. Now, I can look back and realize how much effort on his part I didn't recognize since I was focused on the negatives. It is important to find the smallest things to be grateful for in your heart. And over time you will start to view your husband in a more positive and loving way. He will feel the change and likely be encouraged to do more.
Challenge: Try to catch yourself when you are thinking anything negative today. Try to see how you can flip it to gratitude.
Example: I got six hours of broken sleep. I could be upset about that but instead I am happy and grateful that it was better than the 4 hours of broken sleep I was averaging last week :P
I have coffee. I have a super smiley and sweet baby. I have so much to be grateful for.
How will you flip your thoughts today?
I want to invite you to help create a community of women who are committed to their marriages. We are striving to become a better version of ourselves. We want to rediscover what makes us joyful. No matter what your current marriage looks like. there is so much hope!
A common frustration in marriages can be that men are more likely to speak through actions while women are more likely to speak verbally. The frustration goes both ways. A man can be frustrated by a woman's monologue when she apologizes and promises to change. The words fall flat without action. Men want to see actions to back up words. On the flip side, women crave WORDS! We want to HEAR how much they love us and cherish us. And sometimes they do speak with words. Also, this will vary based on personality and love languages. In general though, men show their love through actions more often than with words. This is especially common after marriage and children. If you can learn to look for evidence of your husband's love through his actions and show appreciation, both of you will benefit. You will be assured of his love and feel more cherished. He will be pleased that you are able to recognize his love and appreciate it.
I often say stuff and do not get...
Weekends are ideally a time to spend increased time resting and doing activities that will nourish you physically, mentally and spiritually. The reality is that we often have very busy weekends and end up even more exhausted. I am in the midst of the 8 month sleep regression and I will need to be extra intentional about my activities this weekend. It can be really difficult to find a balance between chores, errands, social activities and the extra-curricular activities that your children have. I am going to walk you through some suggestions for things to consider as you prepare for the weekend.
The first step is to take account of what you are feeling depleted in. As I discussed in the holiday exhaustion recovery plan, it is important to figure out how you are depleted. What are your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs? Learning how to be more in-tune with your needs is honestly such a game changer. What ...
I remember thinking in the first few years of marriage that if my husband only said or did certain things then I would feel loved, appreciated and be happy. Guess what, now he does and says those things are there are still days that I don't FEEL happy. Do you know why? Because happiness is a choice. We have to choose to focus our thoughts on happy things. We need to take care of ourselves when we are depleted. Our happiness can not rely on our husband's actions. It is crucial to realize that your husband can't actually make you feel a particular way. You still have control over your thoughts and you can learn how to get control over your feelings. This can work for both positive and negative feelings but I am going to focus on positive feelings.
When I was unhappy earlier in my marriage, it was because I was focused on what my husband wasn't doing. If he ever said anything negative about me, I would repeat that over and over in my head. I wasn't repeating all the ...
