Weekends are ideally a time to spend increased time resting and doing activities that will nourish you physically, mentally and spiritually. The reality is that we often have very busy weekends and end up even more exhausted. I am in the midst of the 8 month sleep regression and I will need to be extra intentional about my activities this weekend. It can be really difficult to find a balance between chores, errands, social activities and the extra-curricular activities that your children have. I am going to walk you through some suggestions for things to consider as you prepare for the weekend.
The first step is to take account of what you are feeling depleted in. As I discussed in the holiday exhaustion recovery plan, it is important to figure out how you are depleted. What are your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs? Learning how to be more in-tune with your needs is honestly such a game changer. What are reasonable ways that you can meet those needs and practice expressing desires this weekend?
When it comes to rest, you will have to figure out what works best for your family and schedule. Can you sleep in or nap during the day? If you are hanging out with your husband and having a nice time in the evening I suggest you try saying "I would love to sleep in (or take a nap) tomorrow." It is important to not say more and resist the urge to build your case for why you deserve it. Simply state your desire. If your husband agrees to let you sleep in but he isn't getting up, what do you do? I suggest you snuggle up to him, kiss him and thank him for getting up and letting you sleep in. My husband can take five to ten minutes to actually get out of bed. In the past I would get angry and assume he wasn't going to get up. Now I know he just takes his time and that's okay! If your husband doesn't respond or refuses to get up, do your best to embrace the day and try to plan on napping later in the day.
The second step is to assess whether you have over-scheduled your weekend. It is so important to recognize that we can't do it all. If you are feeling extra depleted it is okay to either say "I can't" or reschedule some commitments when possible. And once you have a more realistic weekend plan, try to think where you can fit in the different activities to nourish you physically, mentally or spiritually. How can you make errands more fun? Can you blast fun music and sing/dance in the car? Do you want to get a fancy drink? Can you go for a walk and call a friend or pray? This is also a great time to practice expressing more desires. Again, simply let your husband know "I would love to try this coffee shop" or "I would love to meet up with a friend this weekend". Again, do not feel discouraged if your husband does not respond. It is important to not complain when you are expressing desires. When he does make your desires happen, let him know how appreciative you are!
The final step is to resolve to have a great weekend no matter what happens. As we have talked about before, mindset is so powerful. Having your go-to ways to take care of yourself and boost your mood as needed can be so helpful!
We currently do not have many weekend plans. Rest is going to be a top priority for me. If I am up with the baby a lot, I will ask my husband to get up in the morning. Otherwise, I will get up and let him rest. My husband likes to run errands as a family, but if I am feeling too depleted, I will request to go on my own or with only the baby and my oldest. I actually enjoy grocery shopping when I don't have to keep my boys from fighting over who gets to push the cart or ride on the cart. If we go as a family, I will give my toddler a candy cane so that he will stay in the stroller and make the shopping trip more peaceful. I am also planning to express a desire to invite our family friends over for dinner in the near future. Also, I am going to try go get a "Moms night out" on the calendar.
Please comment with how you are planning to set yourself up for a great weekend. And please comment with any challenges you are having as well <3
I want to invite you to help create a community of women who are committed to their marriages. We are striving to become a better version of ourselves. We want to rediscover what makes us joyful. No matter what your current marriage looks like. there is so much hope!
A common frustration in marriages can be that men are more likely to speak through actions while women are more likely to speak verbally. The frustration goes both ways. A man can be frustrated by a woman's monologue when she apologizes and promises to change. The words fall flat without action. Men want to see actions to back up words. On the flip side, women crave WORDS! We want to HEAR how much they love us and cherish us. And sometimes they do speak with words. Also, this will vary based on personality and love languages. In general though, men show their love through actions more often than with words. This is especially common after marriage and children. If you can learn to look for evidence of your husband's love through his actions and show appreciation, both of you will benefit. You will be assured of his love and feel more cherished. He will be pleased that you are able to recognize his love and appreciate it.
I often say stuff and do not get...
I remember thinking in the first few years of marriage that if my husband only said or did certain things then I would feel loved, appreciated and be happy. Guess what, now he does and says those things are there are still days that I don't FEEL happy. Do you know why? Because happiness is a choice. We have to choose to focus our thoughts on happy things. We need to take care of ourselves when we are depleted. Our happiness can not rely on our husband's actions. It is crucial to realize that your husband can't actually make you feel a particular way. You still have control over your thoughts and you can learn how to get control over your feelings. This can work for both positive and negative feelings but I am going to focus on positive feelings.
When I was unhappy earlier in my marriage, it was because I was focused on what my husband wasn't doing. If he ever said anything negative about me, I would repeat that over and over in my head. I wasn't repeating all the ...
We are about to start a really busy time of the year. It can be a wonderful time of the year or it can be a stressful time of year. What is your game plan for success?
My first suggestion is to not over-schedule yourself. Women are notorious for trying to do it all because we don't want to let others down. What is the cost of that though? It usually leads to burn out and harms the peace in your home. It is also likely that your husband is not on board with everything you schedule and he might get frustrated. I encourage you to really think about what you will participate in this season and do not overschedule yourself. Build rest into your days. How will you prioritize rest and self-care amidst the busy days?
What do you want your holidays to look like this year? I know I want them to be more relaxing with more family time. I am going to work on making sure that I don't put self-care on the backburner so that I can actually enjoy the season. I am going to prioritize properly feeding ...
