I thought I would give an example of a typical day in my house to give an idea of how to weave self-care into your day.
6:45/7am : Is typically when I am awake from my co-sleeping baby wiggling around. Occasionally we sleep a little later. I have recently started listening to a daily devotional or something short on headphones before getting out of bed. Once I get downstairs, my older kids are awake and asking me for things so it helps to listen in my quiet room before the day starts. I usually throw on a casual dress which helps me feel a little more put together.
7:15 I go downstairs and try to start my coffee maker right away. Then I start fielding breakfast requests (simple things unless I am making a large batch of pancakes or another breakfast food). I usually sit down at my computer to check emails and check in on a facebook marriage support group that I help to moderate. I like to enjoy my coffee before I get myself something to eat. I might listen to more spiritual talks/devotions or a podcast.
8:00-11:00 I am leading my children in homeschool lessons and juggling taking care of the baby. When they have play breaks I will usually listen to music or a podcast while tidying up.
11:30 I usually make an early lunch and then put my toddler down for nap. I get the baby to sleep as well and my older two have their T.V. time while I lay down for about an hour. I get up and make a half strength coffee with some protein powder and pick a workout video to do downstairs with my older two kids. If I am lucky the baby sleeps through this, I will take a bath after. More often then not , I have to pause to put him back to sleep. Other times, I will feed him and then he is happy to watch the workout from his little bouncer seat. If he is awake, I will bring his bouncer into the bathroom so I can take a bath. The middle of the day is my main self-care time. This helps me to recharge for the busy afternoon and evening. It makes it easier to joyfully prepare dinner and tackle dishes when I have the mid-day rest period.
3-5 PM I might have some homeschool to finish with my oldest and then the children usually play while I start to tidy up the kitchen and prep dinner. Again, I will listen to something during this time. I have my children clean up their toys shortly before my husband comes home. It wasn't easy to get them started on this routine but it is so nice now to have them clean up relatively quickly and leave less work for me.
7-9:30 PM Is a mixture of cleaning up kitchen and putting baby to sleep (usually twice :P) as well as bedtime for older three. My husband does help with some of the bedtime routine and if the baby is being extra fussy, he will jump in to help with dishes as well. After the kids are asleep I usually watch something on my phone while I clean or put baby back to sleep. I am able to clean up Having a large chunk of mid-day rest allows me to be able to clean after the kids go to bed without resentment. I really enjoy having an empty or mostly empty sink for the next day.
9:30 I usually relax on the couch with my husband and have a snack while we watch a show together.
This is a very typical day for me. Here are the ways I nourished myself throughout the day.
Listening to spiritual devotion first thing. Making coffee as soon as I get downstairs and enjoying that while I get my children breakfast. Taking time to check in with FB support group and other friends etc before homeschool starts. Listening to music, podcasts, spiritual talks on headphones when I do chores or feed/rock baby to sleep. One hour nap, exercise video and bath. Afternoon coffee with protein powder. These might seem simple but they really do help to restore and strengthen me. My husband works a physical job in the heat and I am happy to handle more of the home chores so he can relax in the evenings. He is wonderful about helping clean bathrooms and other areas on the weekends.
How can you weave taking care of yourself into your day?
I want to invite you to help create a community of women who are committed to their marriages. We are striving to become a better version of ourselves. We want to rediscover what makes us joyful. No matter what your current marriage looks like. there is so much hope!
A common frustration in marriages can be that men are more likely to speak through actions while women are more likely to speak verbally. The frustration goes both ways. A man can be frustrated by a woman's monologue when she apologizes and promises to change. The words fall flat without action. Men want to see actions to back up words. On the flip side, women crave WORDS! We want to HEAR how much they love us and cherish us. And sometimes they do speak with words. Also, this will vary based on personality and love languages. In general though, men show their love through actions more often than with words. This is especially common after marriage and children. If you can learn to look for evidence of your husband's love through his actions and show appreciation, both of you will benefit. You will be assured of his love and feel more cherished. He will be pleased that you are able to recognize his love and appreciate it.
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